Stop the crying
Raising kids is tough business. I'm no authority on the subject for sure but sometimes I think about things like crying babies. I know when ours were young we wrestled with what to do when they were crying. My wife was especially intuitive about what was wrong but there were times when the crying seems to be for no reason. I'm sure there was always a reason since babies can't manipulate their parents, can they?
At times when they would cry we would time them on with a clock. With one eye open at 3am, I would time pass as slow as ever, 5 minutes; 10 minutes, then finally one of us would stumble in to check on them. It seems like we finally read somewhere to be careful about checking them every time they cry. The idea was to teach them to comfort themselves especially if they weren't hungry or a dirty diaper wasn't the reason for the cries We were desperate to get some sleep back so we tried it. Those first few times were hard especially when the crying went on for what seemed like hours. With our new strategy we had to understand that crying wasn't necessarily bad and that it was okay for them to cry because they would eventually learn to comfort themselves back to sleep.
Recently, I've picked up on a marriage principle I've found in several books that seems almost as counter-intuitive as letting babies cry. The general principle is that couples must allow for a certain amount of conflict in marriage. In fact a recent study has hypothesized that the way couples "fight" is a predictor of the strength of their marriage. The thought that a healthy couple never fights is unrealistic and potentially dangerous. Generally good conflict can produce conversation and truth that can build trust as each express their feelings. Again, a strategy is needed to promote healthy conflict and much care should be taken with the words we use. Nevertheless, conflict can be a good thing when two are working on becoming one. Keep the issue and legitimate feelings in the center of the communication and don't allow personal contempt or cutting remarks any room period. You are two distinctly different people so there will be disagreement. As one author put it, "Fight fair." Just remember that crying kids add another voice to the mix.