Archive for April, 2008

Marriage bill of rights

Tuesday, April 22nd, 2008

MSN had two articles posted as The Husband’s Bill of Rights, http://men.msn.com/article.aspx?cp-documentid=6742052&GT1=32001, and the Wife’s Bill of Rights, http://men.msn.com/article.aspx?cp-documentid=6750191. Interesting and humorous, they definitely could help with some expectations but what does it say about our concept of marriage?

Think about it, such a “bill” is written to preserve individuality. Can a marriage survive that way? If you have to write them out will they be truly respected? Aren’t some of those rights given up to a degree when we choose marriage over being single? How about focusing on someone else besides yourself and your happiness? Maybe in marriage we end up running from what is revealed about us when we try to merge 2 lives together. As humans there is selfishness and sin and that gets messy which doesn’t qualify as happily ever after.

Marriage opens up doors for personal growth that remain closed if we don’t mature. For example, the areas of  communication and compromise. Some studies show that married couples spend less than 10 minutes in conversation a week. One must learn to appreciate their spouse for who they are. Secondly, we all need to be loved and we need to find ways to show love; marriage is the perfect environment.   Also, in a marriage we are often the beneficiaries of forgiveness and grace and we should show it even more often to our spouses, too.

I’m afraid any time we assert our rights, rebellion in some form is to follow. I believe we need to have a higher view of marriage. A view that leads us to consider a bigger purpose that maybe, just maybe, marriage is more than an experience you should try in your lifetime.  Marriage is about two becoming one, a mystery that is given life, hope and purpose in God’s plan. It is that spiritual dynamic that gives traction to a relationship and as a result it nearly eliminates the need for “rights.”

Peck, peck, thump

Tuesday, April 8th, 2008

That has been happening every morning for over a month this spring. We were startled by those sounds coming from our living room finally we homed in on one of the windows looking out on the backyard. Peck, peck, thump. Peeking around the curtain we found the culprit, a bright red cardinal. I’ve read that often this time of the year brings out that “male spirit” to protect their turf. Evidently it saw its reflection and thought there was an interloper moving in…

It made me think about why this little bird is attacking its reflection. He is trying to protect his stuff yet his own image is the “enemy,” unless I have to get the BB gun after him for waking us up too early on Saturdays…

How well do we know ourselves? Do we know that we are the “enemy” at times, too? Andy Stanley reminds us in The Best Question Ever that we are good at self deception, really good. Our heart is deceitful according to the book of Jeremiah. How serious do we  take that threat? It is important to take inventory of ourselves and find accountability to just in case there is a “blind” spot or mistaken reflection…

Hopefully this bird will realize he’s the problem and a part of the solution before it gets out of hand.