Archive for June, 2008

Extreme Closeness

Tuesday, June 10th, 2008

I just read this article and I think someone missed the point, http://www.slate.com/id/2192282/?GT1=38001. There is a fine line here. Closeness is key to a good relationship but I’m not sure forced closeness is the best way to grow closer. My first thought was “no way” but the more I think about it…no, I’m not going to try it, but the discipline of it makes me think it would be a great way to teach about marriage.

Sure physical, geographical closeness creates some “bonds” however we know that marriage is God-designed to be more than physical closeness. The discipline of being close is an environment that confronts our selfish nature. When I hear someone speak about their marriage in these terms, “I’m just not happy,” or “My spouse doesn’t make me happy.” I wish they could hear how unrealistic that sounds, one person cannot make you happy.

You bet, waiting outside the door of the bathroom one can learn about forgiveness and patience, communication and understanding, compassion and selflessness among other things. Maybe that is the problem we don’t want to learn those things, period. Or, if we want to learn them we want to do it our way (our selfishness is really exposed in a marriage).

When the writers try the experiment their comments describe a new found sense of closeness, eventually. Knowing what each spouse does in their day removes some of the artificial moments. There is a sense of truly knowing the other. Communication happens on a new level. I can’t help but think that is what God intended from the beginning. But, we mess up paradise. Try your own experiment, call each other on the hour, share an emotional moment, talk before you sit in front of the TV for your show…

I pray closeness finds you before you need a 15 foot piece of string and that you will gradually yield your “stuff” for the bond of “one flesh.”