Archive for the ‘Conflict Resolution’ Category

November 29th, 2015

What Causes Fights Among You?

“What causes quarrels and what causes fights among you? Is it not this, that your passions are at war within you?” James 4:1 (ESV)

In the midst of a disagreement or conflict, we very easily can point out the flaws in the individual or individuals with whom we are at odds. We can outline for anyone who will lend their ear to us their guilt and our innocence in the matter at hand. James challenges us, however, to consider another source for the tension: ourselves. James suggests that quarrels and fights within the church are motivated by selfish desires within the individuals themselves. The source of the battle is not the failure of the other, but rather the failure of me.

Think about his concept for a moment. When you “war” with someone in your life, what is the motivation for such hostile behavior? (As a side note, I use the words “war” and “hostile” intentionally here, as that is the image James is trying to create in the language of the New Testament.) Isn’t your anger typically rooted in the loss of some fix to a self-centered desire? “He stole my position at the church.” “He won’t let me teach.” “She always gets the solos and I never do.” Have you heard any talk like this at your church? Inherent to each of these phrases is a perceived loss, a loss rooted in selfish desires, and if we allow that loss to linger it can transform into bitterness and appear in anger.

Is there conflict in your life? Are you causing conflict in your home or church? Take a moment this morning and do some reflection. Why are you so invested in this disagreement? What “passion” is motivating your participation? Once you recognize your motivation, submit that to the Lord and see how peace may appear at the most opportune time for you and your family, both at home and at church.

Grace and peace,

Jared Richard
Mobilization Pastor (Online Devotional Guest Author)
Follow me on twitter at: http://twitter.com/jaredrichard

Author Stephen Trammell
Posted Sunday, November 29th, 2015 at 1:00 am
Category Conflict, Conflict Resolution, James.
Interact No Comments
August 3rd, 2014

Heightened Sensitivity

“‘So if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar and go. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift.’” Matthew 5:23-24 (ESV)

In yielded worship before the Lord, your sensitivity to the things of God is heightened. Your awareness of God’s holiness and your personal sin becomes elevated when you are consecrated before the Lord in worship. If during the act of offering your gift at the altar of worship God brings to your mind the reality of a strained relationship, leave your gift and diligently go and be reconciled.

God values unity in the body. God expects us to protect the vitality of our relationships with others. You cannot have a right relationship with God, even in worship, if you are not in a right relationship with others. Living in a fallen world perpetuates the litter of strained relationships. Make reconciliation your “first” response to God in worship. You have been reconciled to God through the finished work of Jesus upon the cross so that you can be an intentional reconciler on this broken planet.

Your gift becomes acceptable to God at the level of your relational purity with God and with others. Guard your relationships. Seek immediate reconciliation! Exhibit humility and brokenness! Ask for forgiveness! Extend forgiveness! Do whatever it takes to make things right between you and God. Do whatever it takes to make things right with others.

Drawing Near,

Stephen Trammell
Lead Pastor
Follow me on twitter at: http://twitter.com/stephentrammell

Author Stephen Trammell
Posted Sunday, August 3rd, 2014 at 1:00 am
Category Conflict Resolution, Initiative, Responsiveness.
Interact No Comments
June 6th, 2014

Making Your Home an Oasis

“My people will abide in a peaceful habitation, in secure dwellings, and in quiet resting places.” Isaiah 32:18 (ESV)

Do you dread going home or do you look forward to it each day? Is your home a war zone or an oasis? Does your home drain the life out of you or impart life to you? Is your home characterized by conflict, tension, and chaos or meaningful communication, refreshment, and peace. What’s your home like?

God desires that our home be a peaceful dwelling place. Don’t you just love that word, peaceful? It is so soothing and so inviting. God’s portrait for our home includes security. Our home is to be a place of refuge and safety from the venom of our fallen world. Our home is to be an undisturbed place of rest. That opens a whole new level of living.

How far off is your home compared to the home God desires for you? The environment in which you call home is so much more than brick, stucco, and paint. Home is all about relationships and how we interact with each other and how we treat each other. Home is all about how we do life together as a family.

  • Make personal spiritual growth a priority.
  • Model what you want to multiply in your home.
  • Mobilize your family to radiate God’s love beyond your home.

My prayer is that your home will become a holy place where Jesus is honored and spiritual maturity is nurtured so that the population of heaven will be increased and the population of hell decreased.

Drawing Near,

Stephen Trammell
Lead Pastor
Follow me on twitter at: http://twitter.com/stephentrammell

Author Stephen Trammell
Posted Friday, June 6th, 2014 at 1:00 am
Category Conflict Resolution, Home, Peace.
Interact No Comments
February 4th, 2013

Conflict Resolution

“Finally, all of you, live in harmony with one another; be sympathetic, love as brothers, be compassionate and humble.” 1 Peter 3:8 (NIV)

Families that resolve conflict together stay together.

If the devil came to you for counsel on how to destroy families, what would your advice entail? Perhaps you would recommend the weapon of mass destruction, unforgiveness. Harmony is poisoned and trust is eroded by unforgiveness. Unforgiveness perpetuates suspicion and fertilizes bitterness.

As a result of living in a fallen world among fallen people, conflict is inevitable. In other words, motion causes friction. It is not a matter of “if” conflict will happen, but a matter of “when” conflict will occur. Conflict is a natural part of life on a broken planet. Conflict is the normal confetti of living in a fallen world.

Every relationship at some point will hit the wall of conflict. As my pastor, Dr. David Fleming says, “Every wall of conflict has a door which leads to conflict resolution, meaningful conversation, and intimacy.” Unfortunately, we often react to the wall of conflict by withdrawing or attacking. Instead of patiently pursuing the door of conflict resolution, we take a short cut and forfeit the potential on the other side of the wall of conflict.

What if we were willing to risk the pursuit? What if we were willing to allow God to navigate us through the process of locating the door positioned at every wall of conflict? What if we decided to resolve conflict together as a family? Could it be that revival would come to the home through the doorway of conflict resolution?

Forgiveness unlocks the door!

Pursuing God,

Stephen Trammell
Executive Pastor
Follow me on twitter at: http://twitter.com/stephentrammell

Author Stephen Trammell
Posted Monday, February 4th, 2013 at 1:00 am
Category Conflict, Conflict Resolution, Family.
Interact No Comments
November 29th, 2012

What Causes Fights Among You?

“What causes quarrels and what causes fights among you? Is it not this, that your passions are at war within you?” James 4:1 (ESV)

In the midst of a disagreement or conflict, we very easily can point out the flaws in the individual or individuals with whom we are at odds. We can outline for anyone who will lend their ear to us their guilt and our innocence in the matter at hand. James challenges us, however, to consider another source for the tension: ourselves. James suggests that quarrels and fights within the church are motivated by selfish desires within the individuals themselves. The source of the battle is not the failure of the other, but rather the failure of me.

Think about his concept for a moment. When you “war” with someone in your life, what is the motivation for such hostile behavior? (As a side note, I use the words “war” and “hostile” intentionally here, as that is the image James is trying to create in the language of the New Testament.) Isn’t your anger typically rooted in the loss of some fix to a self-centered desire? “He stole my position at the church.” “He won’t let me teach.” “She always gets the solos and I never do.” Have you heard any talk like this at your church? Inherent to each of these phrases is a perceived loss, a loss rooted in selfish desires, and if we allow that loss to linger it can transform into bitterness and appear in anger.

Is there conflict in your life? Are you causing conflict in your home or church? Take a moment this morning and do some reflection. Why are you so invested in this disagreement? What “passion” is motivating your participation? Once you recognize your motivation, submit that to the Lord and see how peace may appear at the most opportune time for you and your family, both at home and at church.

Chronological Bible Reading Plan: (Day 326: James)

Grace and peace,

Jared Richard
Associate Pastor (Online Devotional Guest Author)
Follow me on twitter at: http://twitter.com/jaredrichard

Author Stephen Trammell
Posted Thursday, November 29th, 2012 at 1:00 am
Category Conflict, Conflict Resolution, James.
Interact No Comments
February 4th, 2011

Conflict Resolution

“Finally, all of you, live in harmony with one another; be sympathetic, love as brothers, be compassionate and humble.” 1 Peter 3:8 (NIV)

Families that resolve conflict together stay together.

If the devil came to you for counsel on how to destroy families, what would your advice entail? Perhaps you would recommend the weapon of mass destruction, unforgiveness. Harmony is poisoned and trust is eroded by unforgiveness. Unforgiveness perpetuates suspicion and fertilizes bitterness.

As a result of living in a fallen world among fallen people, conflict is inevitable. In other words, motion causes friction. It is not a matter of “if” conflict will happen, but a matter of “when” conflict will occur. Conflict is a natural part of life on a broken planet. Conflict is the normal confetti of living in a fallen world.

Every relationship at some point will hit the wall of conflict. As my pastor, Dr. David Fleming says, “Every wall of conflict has a door which leads to conflict resolution, meaningful conversation, and intimacy.” Unfortunately, we often react to the wall of conflict by withdrawing or attacking. Instead of patiently pursuing the door of conflict resolution, we take a short cut and forfeit the potential on the other side of the wall of conflict.

What if we were willing to risk the pursuit? What if we were willing to allow God to navigate us through the process of locating the door positioned at every wall of conflict? What if we decided to resolve conflict together as a family? Could it be that revival would come to the home through the doorway of conflict resolution?

Forgiveness unlocks the door!

Pursuing God,

Stephen Trammell
Executive Pastor
Follow me on twitter at: http://twitter.com/stephentrammell

Author Stephen Trammell
Posted Friday, February 4th, 2011 at 1:00 am
Category Conflict, Conflict Resolution, Family.
Interact No Comments
August 3rd, 2010

Heightened Sensitivity

“‘Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to your brother; then come and offer your gift.’” Matt 5:23-24 (NIV)

In yielded worship before the Lord, your sensitivity to the things of God is heightened. Your awareness of God’s holiness and your personal sin becomes elevated when you are consecrated before the Lord in worship. If during the act of offering your gift at the altar of worship God brings to your mind the reality of a strained relationship, leave your gift and diligently go and be reconciled.

God values unity in the body. God expects us to protect the vitality of our relationships with others. You cannot have a right relationship with God, even in worship, if you are not in a right relationship with others. Living in a fallen world perpetuates the litter of strained relationships. Make reconciliation your “first” response to God in worship. You have been reconciled to God through the finished work of Jesus upon the cross so that you can be an intentional reconciler on this broken planet.

Your gift becomes acceptable to God at the level of your relational purity with God and with others. Guard your relationships. Seek immediate reconciliation! Exhibit humility and brokenness! Ask for forgiveness! Extend forgiveness! Do whatever it takes to make things right between you and God. Do whatever it takes to make things right with others.

Pursuing God,

Stephen Trammell
Executive Pastor
Follow me on twitter at: http://twitter.com/stephentrammell

Author Stephen Trammell
Posted Tuesday, August 3rd, 2010 at 1:00 am
Category Conflict Resolution, Initiative, Responsiveness.
Interact No Comments
June 6th, 2010

Making Your Home an Oasis

“My people will live in peaceful dwelling places, in secure homes, in undisturbed places of rest.” Isaiah 32:18 (NIV)

Do you dread going home or do you look forward to it each day? Is your home a war zone or an oasis? Does your home drain the life out of you or impart life to you? Is your home characterized by conflict, tension, and chaos or meaningful communication, refreshment, and peace. What’s your home like?

God desires that our home be a peaceful dwelling place. Don’t you just love that word, peaceful? It is so soothing and so inviting. God’s portrait for our home includes security. Our home is to be a place of refuge and safety from the venom of our fallen world. Our home is to be an undisturbed place of rest. That opens a whole new level of living.

How far off is your home compared to the home God desires for you? The environment in which you call home is so much more than brick, stucco, and paint. Home is all about relationships and how we interact with each other and how we treat each other. Home is all about how we do life together as a family.

  • Make personal spiritual growth a priority.
  • Model what you want to multiply in your home.
  • Mobilize your family to radiate God’s love beyond your home.

My prayer is that your home will become a holy place where Jesus is honored and spiritual maturity is nurtured so that the population of heaven will be increased and the population of hell decreased.

Pursuing God,

Stephen Trammell
Executive Pastor
Follow me on twitter at: http://twitter.com/stephentrammell

Author Stephen Trammell
Posted Sunday, June 6th, 2010 at 1:00 am
Category Conflict Resolution, Home, Peace.
Interact No Comments
October 5th, 2008

Family Spats (7)

“My people will live in peaceful dwelling places, in secure homes, in undisturbed places of rest.” Isaiah 32:18 (NIV)

Do you dread going home or do you look forward to it each day? Is your home a war zone or an oasis? Does your home drain the life out of you or impart life to you? Is your home characterized by conflict, tension, and chaos or meaningful communication, refreshment, and peace. What’s your home like?

God desires that our home be a peaceful dwelling place. Don’t you just love that word, peaceful? It is so soothing and so inviting. God’s portrait for our home includes security. Our home is to be a place of refuge and safety from the venom of our fallen world. Our home is to be an undisturbed place of rest. That opens a whole new level of living.

How far off is your home compared to the home God desires for you? The environment in which you call home is so much more than brick, stucco, and paint. Home is all about relationships and how we interact with each other and how we treat each other. Home is all about how we do life together as a family.

  • Make personal spiritual growth a priority.
  • Model what you want to multiply in your home.
  • Mobilize your family to radiate God’s love beyond your home.

My prayer is that your home will become a holy place where Jesus is honored and spiritual maturity is nurtured so that the population of heaven will be increased and the population of hell decreased. Now that’s the family business!

Pursuing God,

Stephen Trammell
Executive Pastor

Author Stephen Trammell
Posted Sunday, October 5th, 2008 at 1:01 am
Category Conflict Resolution, Family, God's Will, Home.
Interact No Comments
October 4th, 2008

Family Spats (6)

“Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.” Matt 7:3-5 (NIV)

You always find what you are looking for.

If we want to find fault in someone, we won’t have to look far. It is so easy to discover inconsistencies in others. When it comes to examining the lives of others, we have the eyes of an eagle. Detecting defects in others has a way of boosting our self image and stroking our ego. We tend to look through the microscope to view others and then choose to view ourselves through rose colored glasses.

Jesus lobbed a major teaching on the value of proper introspection. He uncovered our human tendency to view others critically while viewing ourselves gently. Jesus even used the explosive word, hypocrite. When we critique others unfairly and then hide behind a mask that conceals our authentic current reality, Jesus exposes our hypocrisy.

What if we began viewing ourselves in light of the holiness of God? What if we began to view ourselves in light of God’s Word? Our response would be like that of Isaiah, “Woe to me! I am a man of unclean lips!” (Is. 6:5). Remember, man looks at the externals, but God looks at the heart (I Sam. 16:7).

Let’s deal with the gigantic log in our own eye and stop judging others for the speck in their eye. To help us find what God wants us to look for, consider praying daily through the Ten Commandments (Ex. 20:3-17) and praying daily through the fruit of the Spirit.

  • “Moses said to the people, ‘Do not be afraid. God has come to test you, so that the fear of God will be with you to keep you from sinning.’” Ex 20:20 (NIV)
  • “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.” Gal 5:22-23 (NIV)

I think God is calling me to be a logger so that the fruit of the Spirit will be evidenced in my life and through my life for His glory.

Pursuing God,

Stephen Trammell
Executive Pastor

Author Stephen Trammell
Posted Saturday, October 4th, 2008 at 1:01 am
Category Conflict Resolution, Family, Introspection, Jesus, Judging.
Interact 1 Comment